Struggling with food

This will be a fun happy tale. I’ve always had weird thing with food, either being stick thin as a child, or very overweight as a young adult. I managed to put on over five stone since I turned 17, relying on food to ease my stress or boredom.

I always feel like I should be eating, not that I’m hungry. Whenever I watch some TV, I always have to have a snack in front of me to nibble, as if it is impossible to enjoy whatever I’m watching without tasting some food. I always have to finish a packet I open. Can’t have a few biscuits or a single slice of cake. I keep going until the packaging is all that is left and I feel a bit ill. Sitting there at night, pushing in the last few slabs of angel cake, stomach bursting, as I seem incapable of leaving leftovers.

The why is something I really can’t answer, especially since it has bothered me all this time, yet I continue to do it so easily? Nothing in my mind in the moment is telling me to stop and think about what I’m doing, even when I am disappointed in myself before and after. Having such an unhealthy relationship with food is really affecting me for the worse, and I know my health will continue to deteriorate if I continue down this path.

-Chi

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